Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sunday


http://www.andrewduhon.com

Stumbled upon this artist this morning (I've come to realize that "stumbling" is really the best way to come upon anything in life. Though such things aren't nearly as coincidental as they seem, making it that much sweeter. But I digress....) and am getting pulled in further and further with each song and each journal entry. I sigh in deep contentment as I lie here in bed and drink in this lazy, gray, and peaceful Sunday.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

"There is an art form and humility to being a person of faith..."

Chris Keller, co-author of the book God Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself (and MHGS alum!) said something rad:

"The obvious reason for putting together a book is that there has just been so much new atheism literature over the past few years. But then—and this ties into our particularity—everyone who is a Christian in this city is living as a Christian in the midst of a general population that has Bill Maher sensibilities, and thinks Christian faith is simply ‘Religulous’. Does being a person of faith essentially mean living a life that is running blind on the wheels of faith? That’s what pisses Maher off so much. But here’s the catch: that’s what pisses our readership off as well—the anti-intellectualism that grows like a fungus in some Christian cultures. As for Christian responses, we see folks all the time “respond” to atheism with all sorts of tactics like anger, sarcasm, vitriol; the people who do it best in my opinion realize there is an art form and humility to being a person of faith and that we must be in dialogue with people different than ourselves. As Brian McLaren says in his endorsement, ‘atheism isn’t just something to oppose or refute—it also can be a mirror, with much to teach us about ourselves and our distorted and unworthy ideas about God and religion.’ So when we were soliciting content a few years ago for this issue I really felt the pressing need to think about what an authentic response to the new atheism might look like, one that might be able to have some traction in a city like Seattle. I don’t really see the new atheism as a threat to the Christian faith, as such, but it certainly does pose a serious (and much needed) threat to certain iterations of the Christian faith. I don’t feel, most days, offended or threatened by the new atheism, but this is a much more interesting and culturally significant conversation to have than, say, tithing or porn."

Kudos Mr. Keller. You've just boosted book sales by one more. Can't wait to read this one! :)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Blubbering Fool

This is how I felt at one point during my weekend. I was talking to a new friend about my grad school plans and trying to explain the school and it's mission and why I'm drawn to it; what my faith looks like. And I completely fell apart. I'm so not used to talking about these things to anyone (so guarded from potential judgment) that I made a complete fool of myself. I probably came off as the judgmental one! I had no idea what or how to say what I was thinking and feeling that I probably sounded like some clueless fluff. It was embarrassing and I definitely feel ashamed for not having my act together and being soooo afraid to talk about it. I can only pray that this gets better after going to school!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Levity

Things are getting too serious in here. Let me fix that:

Dirty Kitchen Confessions

It's breakfast time, however my (small) kitchen is a frightening place right now and I'm going to avoid it as long as possible. Thus, a blog post.

Well I never thought I'd say it, but I think grad school is in my near future! It's both exciting and scary; a big commitment and more debt, but it'll be a great life changing experience I'm sure. Here's a little blurb from the school (Mars Hill Graduate School, in Seattle WA) that assured me this is the place to be:

A Mars Hill education encourages the holistic development of students, with their unique abilities and giftedness, to love and serve God and others with all their heart, soul, and mind. MHGS students should be able to demonstrate their commitment to Christ, to think theologically, and relationally about contemporary issues, respond practically and effectively to their sense of God's calling, live lives of holy love, and become transforming influences for God's kingdom in their diverse cultural settings.

That's a lot. haha But the awesome, unique thing about the school is how in touch and sensitive they are to today's world and culture. They seem simple in their mission, which I interpret as using the gift(s) God has given you to awaken the world to his beauty and love. It's being sensitive to others beliefs and sharing yours with them as well. There is no pretense, no ulterior motive for pushing my faith onto others. I'm still sorting through my "stuff" with God, so I'm in no position to judge anyone or presume they need saving. (Writing that just made me cringe. I am completely turned off by that kind of presumptuous attitude and thinking.)

So my plan is to attend Mars Hill Graduate School in Seattle, WA with a degree in Christian Studies. My emphasis would be Creative Arts and Theology. There's a lot that falls under the Creative Arts category and I feel that writing is where it's at for me. But I also feel that other interests (music, photography, etc.) will come into my path as well, which would be amazing!

All this to say I'm incredibly open to this opportunity, but also incredibly cautious because it's a deep commitment that will take me out of my comfort zone and away from relationships I've established here in Madison. I've been here for two years and there's still so much of the city I have yet to experience. The friendships I've made mean a great deal to me and I'm afraid of losing them by leaving on this pursuit. But I also know that I can't hold back on this reason alone. To not go would be a huge mistake so I just pray that I can return to these good people after finishing school. I see that I'm holding on to what I have here in Madison and not being more open to possibilities in Seattle. It's just a big change and hard not to resist. I don't know what's best for me, but somebody does and He's speaking loud and clear, which happens so rarely. So I better listen.

Right now I'm being told to go clean the kitchen. ugh.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Story of my life...

"There's the reluctance to soil white clean paper with imperfections. This is the curse of vanity, I know." Jack Kerouac, November 17 1947 journal excerpt

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Rocky Road to Waking Up Hopeful

I sometimes find myself plagued with the If-I-Only-Knew-Then bug when I think of college. For example, if I only knew then that settling for a major that's broad, boring, and easy wasn't the answer I certainly wouldn't have chosen it (duh). I chose it though, because it was broad and I felt it would allow me a wider range of jobs when the hunt began. It was easy enough (and held my attention enough) and I knew I could graduate within four years and save myself the misery of more significant loan payments had I stayed an extra year or two. Practical? I suppose. But this kind of thinking isn't what I was raised on. I was brought up to believe you screw the money and chase your dreams. Instead, I caved and studied things like Organizational Communication i.e. how communication flows in the workplace most effectively; downward, upward, and grapevine were key vocab. I did reports on how companies can best avoid disgruntled employees and keep the peace in the office. I learned the art of interviewing.

Looking back, out of all the classes I took, there were only two that I truly enjoyed (and neither of them had anything to do with organizational training). The first was a freshman course, The History of Rhetoric: Greeks and Romans. Most students hated the class but I loved it! The forward thinkers and fathers of speech and philosophy, who were passionate and outspoken (sometimes to a fault) and who, long past their lifetimes, still managed to stir something inside me (a timid first-generation college freshman). This was the communication that I wanted to study! Turns out, much to my dismay, it was the only course of its kind in the communication field. Yet I still persisted...

The only other course I enjoyed was Dialogical Communication and Relationships, my senior year. We studied the theories of the "Love Doctor" Buscaglia and often sat around in a circle and just talked about who we were. I know, it sounds cheesy, but it was more relaxing and fun than anything. I wouldn't call it a blow off class, but it sure felt like one, considering the assignments weren't very challenging and the material was fun. I don't even know that the course was helpful in any way for the major, but it helped me to have a class to look forward to.

I put a lot of stock into my college experience. I expected to be completely transformed from a shy, timid, confused girl to a full-out independent, outspoken, ambitious, take-the-world-by-storm woman. All this in four years? It was a lot to anticipate, but I think the place was all wrong for it and I settled. It would be ridiculous to blame the university or students for my discontent, but essentially that's what I was doing. I am, now, grateful that I went to school at a place that was as welcoming and familiar as Stevens Point. I wasn't taken on a rocky journey to get my bearings of the place (it was the furthest from a big city). So rather than an uproarious transformation, I had a quiet awakening and understanding of the person in me that I wanted to let shine. I just couldn't find a place for her where I was.

I regret not taking more chances in college. There, I said it. I so badly want to say that I took my four years and stuffed as much into them as I could, that I beat the life out of them with adventure and fun. The reality, however, is that I spent the majority of my time bored with my classes and resentful of the small, conservative place I felt stuck in. Lots of disgruntled calls to home were made and the possibility of leaving loomed. But I knew I would have felt like a failure if I left and so I did the worst thing possible: I endured. I became the kind of person I can't stand to be around. And that, more than leaving, was the biggest failure.

New beginnings awaited me in Madison. I was so excited to be a part of a bigger, independent, bustling city (the complete opposite of Stevens Point). This is the place where I could let the ideas and ambitions I had run around. It's no Milwaukee or NYC, but Madison has the activity that I craved with the close, hometown feel that I love.

I think what college afforded me was the opportunity to see the kind of person I didn't want to be. I was at rock bottom and after graduation I had a new chance to climb back up again. These days I'm feeling more hopeful than I have in a long time. I finally feel like the independent, ambitious person I wanted to be. I know what moves me (writing, music, art, being surrounded by good people and friends) and where I thrive. I still struggle with the courage to see my ambitions through, but that's no easy or quick thing. I realize now that anything worth doing (anything needing to be done) requires a little less thought and lot more blind faith and action.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Random Picture Day




Completely taken with this picture. Click here to see more amazingness.

Friday, April 2, 2010

R.I.F.

Remember this reading program from back in the day?? Reading Is Fundamental! Fill up your pin and get a free pizza from Pizza Hut! haha I love sharing what books I've been reading, and I see from my last post that I neglected to do that! So here is one completely dedicated to it:


I just finished reading this juicy, entertaining book and want to go back and read it all over again! I tell people it's similar to Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert sans the spirituality. It's a memoir of a woman who goes through a divorce and decides to travel to Italy where she meets a charming Parisian professor. They end up having a whirlwind affair (he's married with kids) over the next couple of years, traveling to exotic places to be with each other. Like I said, quite entertaining!




When I Was Cool by Sam Kashner
I couldn't find a decent sized picture, sorry. Another memoir (I'm a sucker for 'em!) about a guy who attends the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. I've just started this one and it's proving to be very interesting. As odd as some of his stories are, they are equally engrossing. He's living amongst the infamous Beats (sans Kerouac) at the beginning of the end of their fame. An apprentice to Allen Gingsberg, the author attends many of his dinner parties with other Beat giants, given assignments to finish some of Gingsberg's erotic, gay poems, and type for Burroughs who cut off his left pinky finger in rage over a past cheating lover and, therefore, can't type well (turns out, neither can the author!). It's bizarre but I'm loving it so far!


A novel about an extraordinary man, Max, who, after a near-death experience at 15, encounters 12 strangers who change his life and inspire readers. It's set up in the year 2012 when the world, as many believe, will end. I'm, again, just at the start of this one. I love the authors style, it's like an intelligent fairy tale and makes it a fun read. I'm anxious to find out what happens!


This book was a birthday gift from my family and I love it! The letters are incredibly romantic and sad. I'm just starting Keats' poems and hope to be equally touched. There's nothing more satisfying than a beautifully constructed poem! (wow, I am such a nerd!)


Just for fun! :)


(My buttons looked way cooler than this one, but it was the only picture I could find, haha)

Monday, March 1, 2010

Spring on the UPDATES!

It's March 1st! I'm so excited that's it's March, for a couple reasons. For one, we are out of what my family and I refer to as the "humdrum after Christmas winter months" of January and February. It's cold, it's gray, the holiday cheer has faded, and the harsh reality of winter has set in. Yuck! The light at the end of the tunnel comes this day, March 1st, when spring begins to peek it's fresh face in. For two, it's my birthday month, 'nuff said! :) March 12th is the big 2-4 for moi and it's pretty awesome, I'm excited! Also, not that I'm heavily into astrology (I do find it interesting, but don't seek out my daily fortune to route my days), it's the Chinese Year of the Tiger and guess who's year that is? Uh-huh, 1986 baby, right here! I made the extra effort to research what this means and here's what I found:






Tigers do not find worth in power or money. They will be completely honest about how they feel and expect the same of you. On the other hand, they seek approval from peers and family. Generally, because of their charming personalities Tigers are well liked. Often, failing at a given task or being unproductive in his personal or professional life can cause a Tiger to experience a depression. Criticism from loved ones can also generate this type of Tiger reaction. Still, like all felines, Tigers always land on their feet, ready for their next act in life, pursuing it with unyielding energy and hunting it infallibly. Tigers are unpredictable and it would be unwise to underestimate their reactions. They may appear cool, but they have the Big Cat's instincts to pounce at a moment's warning. The Chinese say having a Tiger in the house is the very best protection against the evils of fire, burglary.

Doesn't that last bit make you wanna be my roommate? lol I love it! Okay, on to another rousing edition of Jen's Current Interests...

Music: Lately I've been hunting good music like my life depended on it! The top players, as of late, are:




I will forever be grateful that I randomly found this guy. I know he's been around for a while but fate would have it that I discovered him now and the music god's have an eternal devotee since blessing my with Adams work. Yes, a bit dramatic, but my love runs deep! Photo cred to another genius, Annie Leibovitz.




Patty Griffin
Killer voice and I just love her bluesy, classic sound. If my life were a soundtrack, she would have the whole middle portion of the album. Also, I'd kill to have her hair.




I find it hard to put into words my absolute devotion to this guy. It pains me that he's no longer with us, because his voice is like a tall glass of deep, rich, red wine. You can just feel it coursing through your veins until it punctures your heart and you are eternally affected and feel everything that he did when he sang his songs. Should you have a glass of wine while listening to Buckley, make sure you aren't alone or feeling particularly sensitive/vulnerable. And can we just talk about this picture?? Actually, it really speaks for itself. It's everything.




I forget how I found these guys, but suffice it to say, I'm glad I did. They are just a fun listen and look like a great live band! I'm so excited to see them in concert here in Madison later this month. It's going to be so fun!




Always and forever, but I am making a desperate plea to the music god's right now to find me a friend or two to go with to see the band in concert at Alpine this summer! I missed them last year and I'll be damned if the concerts are sold out before I get the chance to redeem myself...)



Writing: I've been writing and reading a lot of poetry lately. I think the ball started rolling for me in fifth grade as part of a homework assignment. I found it wasn't that difficult and pretty fun, but never got serious about it. I may have written a handful of poems while in college, but never bothered keeping them. On a whim I recently saw the movie Bright Star (which I highly recommend!), about John Keats, and have a renewed interest. So it's been Keats, Henry Rollins (really heavy, dark stuff, but I'm strangely into it), and others. Garrison Keillor's The Writer's Almanac is a great, fun website filled with fun facts and a poetry library to get schooled in some fantastic poets! Also....




This lovely lady graced Madison with her presence this past February (Eat, Pray, Love author) and it was such a treat to see her live, in the flesh! My mom and I were dead center, five rows back from the stage and she was on fire. I'd kill for her wit, it just oozes so effortlessly from the woman! She's got this warm, friendly personality that makes you want to take her home with you and be BFF's. She speaks like she writes and is very generous in sharing her life with complete strangers (I can relate!). I wanna be just like her when I grow up! haha



Misc: I love good shopping deals (I'm a frequent Target shopper!) and recently stumbled upon this awesome, eclectic consignment shop...


For the longest time I thought it was a store for women my grandmas age, but when I walked in there I was surprised at how much variety they have! Every single wall and floor space is covered with everything from bedding to accessories to clothing to, well, you name it and they've probably got it! Vintage wonderland full of goodies that make my mouth water. I LOVE IT!! And speaking of things that make my mouth water...




THE BREAKFAST BURRITO!

So wonderful and delicious and the perfect way to start a full day of drinking (which is what we do in Wisconsin in the winter, haven't you heard?). Middleton's annual Bockfest was this weekend and my crew and I started it off the right way, with bellies full of breakfast burrito awesomeness!! Oh but we did it up right and made them ourselves. No fast food nonsense! It was perfect, just like the day. Lots of beer, good music, and DANCING! I don't have a camera but will likely snag pics from everyone else and post a few up here.

Well, I hope this post makes up for lost time (to all 3 or 4 of you that read this, haha). Have a good one and HAPPY SPRING!!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

2010?! Holy Crap!

2010: The Year of Discovery & Celebration!

The following is what I hope to look back on as I approach 2011:

- Richer, deeper friendships (both old and, especially, new)
- An active, energetic, healthy lifestyle taking shape
- Money saved and a trip (vacation) taken! Oregon anyone? Oh yes!
- Becoming "Aunt" Jen to two beautiful, healthy babies from two wonderful friends (March and August)
- Lots of pictures from a camera I finally managed to buy and not destroy!
- Finding a "church" that fits and helps me understand and see God more
- Accepting myself just a little bit more and letting go!

Alright then, here's to another mistakes-filled, lessons-learned, merciful year! Lord be my strength and help me see your beauty and grace. You know I need it! :)